Feeling left behind in life is an unpleasant experience that can hinder your personal growth. It may cause negative emotions such as anxiety, loneliness, depression, despair, and imposter syndrome.
It can be disheartening to witness others succeed while you remain stagnant. Almost all your friends and relatives got married, landed their dream job, have kids, bought a house, spent holidays in those paradisiac Isles, etc— In short, they are successful.
Unfortunately, you find yourself falling behind in life as you haven’t achieved all those things.
Suddenly, you realize that you are far behind your peers. Then, you start to question yourself about your situation. “Why am I still single?” “Why am I broke?” “Why am not living my dream life?”, etc. Sound like you?
That’s how you begin to compare your life to others.
However, this will make you feel even miserable and inferior. If the gap between you and your peers is huge, you will be more disappointed. Soon, you will also consider yourself as a total failure.
Our society has a clear definition of success. In general, it means having a high-paying career, a family, a house, and living an abundant luxurious life. Thus, in case you don’t have those things—you are seen as unsuccessful.
On social media, people love to flex their lives and show how successful they are. This makes you even feel worse about yourself. But the truth is that reality can be completely different. It’s only a world of illusion.
Feeling left behind is a common situation that may happen to anyone at any point in life. It’s normal and you can overcome it too. Remind yourself that you are not a failure. Your situation is not desperate at all—and you have the potential to create your best life and live a better tomorrow.
What Does Feeling Left Behind Mean?
First, let’s understand what is “feeling left behind” all about. Our society has established a clear milestone to achieve success. By a certain age, you are supposed to achieve certain things. This even starts at a very young age. So, we can feel left behind if we don’t follow those standards.
Some parents have the tendency to compare their kids’ evolution to others. If their child don’t know to sit or walk yet at a certain age while others are—they start to worry. At an early age, the comparison begins already.
Later, when you attend school, it will continue at a higher level. Most of the time, when you don’t get an A+ like your schoolmates, they will make you understand that you are not good enough. Unless you are doing well like your peers, you will feel like falling behind. Sometimes without knowing, those who are close to us push us to develop this feeling early in life.
But, studies have shown that every child is different and doesn’t grow at the same rate. If parents start to continuously compare their kids to others, the feeling of being behind will eventually accentuate. This will generate lack of confidence. In the long run, you will be used to comparing yourself to others.
Another example is when you reach 25 or 30, but you don’t have a well-established life yet. Therefore, you might feel left behind too.
This can happen to anyone though, in disregard of age. Nonetheless, it’s essential to understand that this feeling is subjective and doesn’t define your worth or success per se.
So, the feeling of being left behind is that undelightful sensation you feel when you endlessly compare yourself to others.
Why Do You Feel Left Behind?
Self-Comparison Can Trigger the Feeling of Being Left Behind
This feeling of being behind in life can stem from various factors, including societal expectations, personal goals, and external influences. One of the major reasons why people feel left behind is the social constant comparison.
In fact, it’s natural to reflect on the progress you’ve made in life so far. But, if you constantly compare your life to other people, you might feel left behind. In fact, if you don’t have what others have: you will begin to develop that negative emotion.
Nevertheless, people love to show-off their success and achievements online. They keep posting the perfect ideal life. So, if you expose yourself to these external influences—comparison becomes automatic.
What is more, is that if you don’t have the same lifestyle—you get depressed even more. Thus, if you continue to consume these contents, you will hurt your feelings even more.
Therefore, you become sad, depressed, and hopeless about your future. The worst case scenario is if you give up on yourself. And also if you find that nothing matters anymore.
So, stop comparing your journey to others since this will only magnify those feelings of lagging behind. Plus, this behavior will also hinder your ability to appreciate your own accomplishments.
What is essential to remember is that what you see online is often just an illusion. What you see on these platforms is not always the truth. So, stop blaming yourself for not having what people have.
Know that you have your own purpose in this ephemeral life. And this also means that your journey is entirely unique. In addition, you don’t have to fit in the box to please society.
Take time to reassess things. Get crystal clear about what you truly want. You might be surprised to find out that you want something different.
Feeling Left Behind Due to Societal Pressure
Feeling left behind can be a consequence of the societal pressure to achieve certain milestones by a certain age. Society often sets arbitrary benchmarks, such as having a stable career, being in a committed relationship, or owning a home, by the time you turn 30.
Not achieving these things when you reach that age will cause you to be considered a failure. As a result, these achievements become mandatory and meaningful to some individuals.
However, they are not the only markers of a fulfilling life. It’s crucial to understand that societal expectations should not dictate your worth.
Furthermore, remind yourself that these milestones are not a measure of your personal fulfillment or happiness. In spite of that, these social norms may or may not align with your values and aspirations.
Though society has adopted a system to mold each individual to fit in a box— you don’t have to align with that. In reality, societal norms are just a template. To emphasize, there is no right or wrong timeline for achieving success.
So, to be successful you’d rather focus on building a life that reflects your personal values and that brings you happiness. Do what you are passionate about. Your life is all about who you want to be and what you want to accomplish, not about what society wants you to be.
Unachieved Personal Expectations and Goals
Too many personal expectations and unachieved goals can contribute to the feeling of falling behind. Perhaps you have set specific goals for yourself and haven’t achieved them yet. Thus, it leads you to feel depressed and negative about yourself.
In this case, it is crucial to reassess these goals and check if they still align with your current values and desires. Write down what you have planned for your life but haven’t achieved till now.
Is it a relationship, marriage, having kids, a job, a car, a home, or your physics? Whatever it is that makes you feel left behind, write it down. Now, ask yourself how important are these things to you. Is your happiness based on them?
I’d like you to consider this quote from Brian Weiss :
“Happiness comes from within. It’s not dependent on external things or on other people. You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend on the behavior and actions of other people. Never give your power to anyone else”
The more you compare yourself to others, the more vulnerable you become.
If you have a strong desire to be married. Would you get married to the wrong person for the sake of being married? Doing so will eventually make you more miserable. Don’t dig yourself a hole.
Remember that you only live once. So, enjoy your life now. Live today not tomorrow. Stop obsessing over what you don’t have and be grateful for everything you own—no matter how small it is. Stop keeping up with the Joneses.
Be grateful for every little thing in your life and you will see the difference.
Though feeling behind in life is certainly not a delightful feeling, it can help you to stop and re-think your life. check this if you want to learn how to create your dream life.
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Feeling Left Behind Drawbacks
Feeling left behind might seem not very alarming at first. Since it’s a common feeling anyone can experience at certain periods. It doesn’t always appear to be serious.
However, not every individual can handle this situation the same way. While some may overcome it by themselves, others may have difficulties coping with it.
For some people, the depression it generates can become a serious handicap. Feeling left behind can end up in a great depression. Thus, medical help is required.
When you feel left behind in life, you may end up at a point where life seems meaningless. Besides, life can feel tasteless and uninteresting.
Some people don’t even want to get out of their homes anymore. To get out of bed becomes so difficult. It feels as if there’s nothing to expect from life anymore. If that’s how you feel, get help as soon as possible.
Recognize that Everyone's Journey is Unique
What makes you feel left behind is the inability to enjoy your own journey. It is too easy in today’s world of social media to get caught up in the comparison game with other people. Still, it is important to acknowledge that everyone’s journey is unique and can never be compared.
As a matter of fact, each person has their own set of experiences, challenges, and opportunities that have shaped their journey.
What is more, is that it’s not only filled with valuable lessons and experiences but it also has made you who you are today.
You see, each person is different and can never be fitted into one box. There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to success. “A” can love apples while “B” prefers bananas. “C” on the other hand might like or dislike both.
This means, that not everyone wants the same thing or has the same dreams. Not everyone progress the same way either. Each individual has a unique path and a specific purpose in life.
In addition, it’s perfectly OK and normal to be different.
Many successful individuals have experienced similar doubts and setbacks in their own pursuit of success.
So, take a deep breath and remember that you are not alone in this journey.
No matter what your vision is, go for it and design your own life according to your aspirations. Your life, your choice.
Falling behind doesn’t mean at all that your life is over. There’s always hope if you don’t give up.
” For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” Proverbs 24:16
No matter what happens in life, never give up, stay strong and keep going. Don’t give up on yourself but rise up and keep moving.
Shift Your Mindset and Embrace Your Own Timeline
In order to overcome the feeling of being behind in life, it’s crucial to shift your mindset and appreciate your own timeline.
First, start to practice self-compassion and remind yourself that it’s okay to take a different path than others.
Second, accept the idea that life is not a race, but a personal journey of personal growth and self-discovery.
Third, let go of the need for external validation and make the most of what truly matters to you. Identify your values, passions, and goals, and align your actions with them.
By doing so, you’ll gain a sense of clarity and purpose. These will guide you toward creating a life that is fulfilling and authentic to you.
Make your life meaningful to you first. Become excellent in what you love to do.
Focus on What’s in Your Control
Firstly, identify what you can control in your life and work on them. Then, continue to progress on your own journey.
You can control yourself, your emotions, and your feelings. However, you can’t control what others do. So, take care of yourself then.
Adopt a new helthy lifestyle and take care of your overall wellbeing. Eat better, sleep, and exercise to improve your health.
Secondly, let go of anything you can’t control. Let’s say you love someone who doesn’t love you back. There’s nothing you can do about that. Rejection is not always a bad thing and it helps you to control emotions and grow.
Take time to accept the situation, acknowledge your feeling and move on. It might not be easy, but it’s best for your mental health and your well-being.
Get rid of all things that don’t add value to your life.
Meanwhile, get out of social media to stop comparing yourself to others. Stop exposing yourself to things that may develop the feeling of being left behind.
Take the time to ask yourself what you truly want and make them a priority. It’s never too late to live better. You can work on your self-improvement all the time.
Life doesn’t have to be complicated to be amazing.
Finally, ask yourself this question: “Are you here to please society or to pursue and fulfill your own path?”
Set Realistic Goals and Create a Plan of Action
First, setting SMART and realistic goals can guide you to navigate through your journey with intention and purpose.
Take some time to reflect on what you want to achieve in various aspects of your life, such as—career, relationships, personal growth, and health.
Break these goals down into smaller, actionable steps that you can take to move forward. Remember to be flexible and open to adjusting your goals as necessary.
Your twenties are a time of exploration and discovery, and it’s okay to change direction along the way. By setting realistic goals and creating a plan of action, you’ll have a roadmap to guide you toward the life you envision for yourself.
It doesn’t matter where you are in life right now. There’s always room for improvement and plenty of opportunities out there.
If you haven’t achieved some of the goals you planned before, don’t worry. Try to adjust them and make changes as you go. If you failed before, don’t be hard on yourself. Failure is never final as long as you learn from your mistakes, and commit yourself to improve.
To help you get motivated, you can download free positive affirmations here for free. They are amazing and will boost your confidence.
Surround Yourself With a Supportive Network
When you feel left behind, honestly it’s always lonely. People around you don’t usually understand what you are going through.
So, undergoing the feeling of being left behind in life can be tough. However, if you surround yourself with a supportive network it can be a game-changer.
It’s better to get a mentor or join a community that had the same experience. They can encourage you and give you the best solutions depending on your situation.
A strong support system is helpful for gaining courage and staying motivated. Seek out like-minded individuals who are also embracing their unique paths. You will see that together, you can inspire and uplift one another.
Seek Professional Help if Needed
At times, the overwhelming sensation of falling behind in life can be quite burdensome. If you find that this begins to affect your mental well-being, it is crucial to reach out to a professional for assistance without delay. Waiting for your situation to worsen can be detrimental to your own self.
Moreover, a great therapist or counselor can guide you better during this tough time. In reality, they can assist you in gaining clarity and developing effective coping strategies. They can assist you in getting rid of fears and beliefs that may hold you back too.
Remember that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. So, never feel ashamed of your emotions or circumstances. It will make you stronger and more successful in your personal and professional life.
Celebrate Your Accomplishments and Find Joy in the Present
What you focus on becomes your reality.
If you keep focussing on lack, all you see is lack. When you try to feel joy, you are instantly lifted up.
Enjoy the present moment as if it is your last. If you think that this is your last time in this ephemeral life, you will certainly appreciate each second.
Do your very best in whatever you do and celebrate your accomplishments along the way. Take the time to acknowledge all the challenges you have overcome.
Additionally, celebrate both big and small victories, as they all contribute to your growth and progress.
Foster gratitude for the experiences, individuals, and opportunities present in your life. Life is a sequence of moments, and by deriving joy from the present, you will establish a sense of fulfillment and contentment that surpasses age or societal expectations.
Final Thoughts
In fine, if you are feeling left behind in life, stop worrying and take a break. Allow yourself to relax and get out of your daily rush. Go on vacation if possible. Your whole body, mind, and soul will get so much benefit. It will considerably help you to see clearly what is really essential.
Going through this situation can be a great turning point in life. It can shift your life in a new fantastic direction. Not to mention that it will allow you to know yourself better and to find your own purpose.
But, if it’s not addressed properly, feeling left behind can be seriously harmful. Trying to chase after other people’s success will add more unhealthy stress to your life. So, don’t hesitate to look for professional help if needed.
There’s no need for you to constantly compare yourself to anyone. Doing so will only deprive you of your joy and happiness.
Moreover, you’ll keep running after something you don’t even need or want—you’ll miss on your own incredible journey.
Trying to please others will never bring true satisfaction to you. Instead, find your own path and what you truly desire for yourself. Create your own template of success. Keep pushing forward and never give up on your dreams!
So, are you feeling left behind right now or have you experienced it before? Let us know your thoughts in the comment below
